Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Story Of My Life

Doodled this in my notebook awhile back.  I should probably make it into a T-shirt.  I think the statement is one that everyone can relate to on a primordial level.  

I mean, who doesn't like bread?  Sometimes it's just hard to say "no" to MORE BREAD!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


Hello, lovely people of the Internet.  Can anybody hear me out there?  Is this thing on???

If you read my little "About Me" section, you know that I am not only angry, but I am a chick that plays the ukulele.  Then again, you probably assumed that was the case when you saw the words "ANGRY UKULELE CHICK" in obnoxious bold lettering at the top of this page.  Hello, this is The Department Of Redundancy Department... How can I help you?

But I digress.  The world has been bumming me out a lot lately.  I often feel like I'm on a different planet than everyone else.  I'm surrounded by people who have been programmed to spend their lives working meaningless jobs so that they can become little zombies in department stores and buy lots of THINGS.  I do not want to become a part of that.  I've been fighting it, but every single day someone asks me when I am going to get a job.  It makes me want to scream.  I have a job, mother fuckers!  I'm a writer and a rock star and modern day super hero in disguise... I just haven't started getting paid yet.  No, I don't want to work in your office.  No, I don't want to get paid minimum wage to make sandwiches with some lady named Bev who probably has a mullet.  No, I'm not going to give up my dreams and spend the next ten years of my life spending all my money on the gas it takes to drive to a job that will rob me of all the energy I need to be a rock 'n' rollin bitch for you.  No, no, NO!

I'm honestly pretending to be much more bad ass than I actually am right now.  The truth is, I have a lot of fear.  Currently, I am less of a rock 'n' rollin bitch and more of a slave of my own Twilight Zone episode I created by trying to please everyone.  It's the sort of thing that makes me want to take all the pills and stay in my bed for a very, very long time.  I assure you I am not going to do that, though.  It would be counterproductive and entirely too cliche.  No.  Creating an anonymous space on ze world wide web where I can draw stupid cartoons, post hipster-esque photographs of my musical instruments, swear a lot, and put up angry ukulele songs/videos seems like a much more practical option.

So that's what is up.  I am Angry Ukulele Chick.  Follow this blog if you want.  Don't follow it if you don't want to.  I'm not your mom.  I'm not going to tell you what to do.  But I promise I won't bite and I might even make you laugh at some point.  So you'll probably want to stick around.

Anyway... Peace and love, mother fuckers.  More interesting things to come.  I promise.